|
Here we are on a holiday weekend. I've said before that, unlike many pastors I know, I actually appreciate holiday weekends, since those of us who are here have chosen to be here rather than some other more tempting option. And this is what we get, those of us who have chosen coming to church over going to the beach or mountains - a truly challenging text. Jesus gives us instruction on how to deal with conflict in our fellowship, and it is a truthful instruction. If we follow the principles set here we will grow to become better Christians. But, as one pastor observed, "The truth may set us free, but it is probably going to hurt a good bit first.”
First of all let's notice the context of Jesus' words - where two or more are gathered in my name there I am among them. This statement isn't offered in the middle of communion, or in some type of worship environment. It is in the middle of conflict. It is when people are wronging one another. In this context, then, Jesus assures us that he is right in the middle of the fray, to help us. I assure you that it is in just such circumstances that I most need God's help.
The heart of our passage today is confrontation. Anna and I were talking the other day about family members who are often confrontational in public settings - most particularly in restaurants. They special order everything and don't hesitate to send things back if they're not perfect. They'll even demand their money back if their experience is unsatisfactory. I worked as a waiter and know firsthand how difficult it can be, so I often feel uncomfortable with this behavior. When I have a disagreeable experience in a restaurant, my behavior is much different. I simply leave a good tip and never return. I might tell other folks about my experience, but I never address the restaurant directly.
But which of these approaches comes closer to the biblical model presented here today? I am tempted to think that I am the righteous one. After all I am not seen as demanding or pushy. But I am also not being relational. I have a problem but am not sharing it with the owner, so the problem might be solved - and I might continue as a patron of the restaurant. What looks like "niceness" is really just taking the easy way out.
Granted, this is a lighthearted example, but it points to a greater truth, especially when applied to a community of faith. When someone does something to hurt us, does something wrong against us, we are to go to that person. The ultimate purpose is always to heal and maintain relationship. That is the highest goal. The alternative is either to keep silent and brew about it, sowing seeds of dissension in ourselves, or to share our feelings with other bystanders, sowing seeds of dissension within the community.
Jesus is telling us when a person sins against us we are to go to them, not our neighbor or our best friend. Best case scenario, things can be resolved immediately without involving anyone else. But,what if the person does not repent? Here Jesus' instructions are equally clear; you go to two leaders of the church, two responsible wise people. You share your concern with them and then take them to confront the person. If this does not result in a change of attitude or behavior then you take it to the larger church community. It is then left to the larger community to decide whether this person can be reconciled, or needs to be removed from community leadership.
The decision to remove someone from leadership might seem harsh and at odds with our sense of a compassionate Jesus. But in this instruction Jesus makes one thing clear: church membership carries with it certain high responsibilities. We are not church merely to serve ourselves, but to share Christ's light in the world. We can't do that if we're not willing to be honest with each other, confront each other when necessary, and confess our sins together. This is the heart of community healing. Without it the community remains broken and contentious, and of no use to a broken and contentious world.
After all, the church is made up of people - who will have conflict and wrong each other. Since this is unavoidable, we must decide how we will respond to such incidences. I offer pre-marital counseling to young couples wanting to get married. My goal in counseling a couple is not in how to prevent disagreements, but to see them as opportunities for growth in understanding and compassion. I help couples consider the ground rules for disagreements: Do we fight fair? Do we confront each other constructively? Do we avoid taking our conflict to other family members and friends, and avoid creating "alliances" against our spouse?
I hear ministers speak of God’s unconditional love. I do believe God's love is unconditional, but we can put conditions on how we receive that love. Peter asks the question of how often we should forgive a perpetual sinner. Seven times? Jesus responds, "No - 77 times!" Which is to say, an unlimited number of times. Each week we pray the Lord's prayer together, saying, “Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.” As Christians we are to be about the business of forgiving others. And this is at the heart of Jesus' instruction about confrontation. Our purpose is to create reconciliation. The person who confronts must be willing to forgive - every time. If our hearts can hold that kind of graciousness for others, then we are also free to experience that kind of graciousness from God. Perhaps then we can understand one more condition on confronting someone who has wronged us - we cannot confront someone until our hearts are already moving in compassion and love, until our dearest desire isn't to shame the other person, but to reclaim him or her as a fellow child of God.
Jesus is giving us tools to build the church and to live fuller, more gracious lives. In John’s Gospel, Jesus tells us that the world will know that we are Christ’s disciples because of our love for one another. Not how nice we are and all agree, but how we LOVE. Do we imagine that Christ envisions a church where no one disagrees? Of course not. But I believe that Jesus envisions a church where we respect one another at all times. Jesus envisions a church where we don’t talk about each other behind their backs. Jesus desires a church where we confront one another in love and strive as best we can for harmony and peace. I’m tell you for me that is not easy. This passage brings me to my knees. I easily recognize my need for grace with this passage. Yet I know that if I will grow in using these principles then God will become stronger in my life.
|
Sermon for September 4, 2011
